The Flores Journey

The more I spend amongst the Xhosa people, the more I learn about them. I have been learning from my Xhosa friends in Khayelitsha about a tradition called Lobola. When a young man is ready to get married he must approach his perspective bride’s father. According to tradition, the father will ask the young man for the price of his daughter. The price of the daughter ranges according to her education and standing in the community. I questioned the young man telling me about this tradition as to why education would matter. He told me that, “If the girl can read and write, she will bring in more money. She could get a better job and contribute to her new family.” The price of the bride is measured in cows. The father determines how many cows that the daughter is worth to him and asks the young man for that price. Because, there are not many cows in the townships of Khayelitsha the price is the Rand amount of those cows.

One young man told me that his uncle was still paying off his bride price. The cost was thirty cows, which is equivalent to 12,000 U.S. Dollars. According to the guys, 50 cows are supposed to be the max amount of cows that anyone is allowed to charge. This is a very expensive price, especially to the poor of South Africa. It is common for young men not to even get married or even desire to because the price can be so high. I told the guys that it seemed to me that this would just keep guys from getting married and promote premarital sex and young men that weren’t committed. They agreed. This is a tradition that is helping to promote the broken homes that exist all over Khayelitsha. However, they also informed me that if a young man gets the daughter of another man pregnant, the cost of that is even worse. “You have to pay money for damages. It’s tradition.” They told me. Not much we can do about it.

Claire and I personally know one young man who has been saving up his bride price for some time and still has a ways to go. He is twenty six years old and couldn’t get married even if he wanted to because he literally can’t afford the price of his bride. When we talk with him about getting married, I can hear the frustration in his voice. For him, it is still very much out of reach.

I have now figured out how to make my fortune! Claire and I are having our second baby girl. Statistics show that the more children that you have of one sex the more likely it is you will continue to have children of that sex. I’ll keep producing girls and then all I need to do is find Godly, Xhosa men who want to marry my daughters. CHACHING!!! I’ll be making bank! LOL.